Jordan and Anali Haddock

another year

2011-07-02T15:46:00.007-06:00

So I turned around yesterday and realized what a year it has been. A LOT has happened. I was just scanning this blog and realizing that I am horrible about keeping it up. But considering that I have had a lot on my plate, I don't feel as bad. Most of the time I am just glad that my pants are on right. :)

I do have to update an entry from when I blogged about our son being stillborn. I then wrote that he didn't have a name. But that has changed. We decided that he had come and done what needed to be done and that it really was his purpose. We named him Jagger. That was the name we had always planned on. It just feels right. I got a surprise call at Christmas from the hospital that they had pictures of him and they wanted to know if I wanted them. I was very surprised. But very grateful. I was so glad that someone took pictures. It is standard that the hospital does that when a baby is born. But I had said at the time I didn't want any pictures. I totally regretted it later, so it was a little Christmas miracle when I got them. Every once in a while when I decide to clean off the dresser I find them and have myself a little cry. I'd like to say it gets easier with time. It kind of doesn't though. You just kind of get used to it and learn to live with it. You can never get over it though and there is never any closure. If you are reading this and you don't understand how it feels, that is alright. I remember feeling that way. Now that I know, I have a few pieces of advice.

1. When you find out during what was a casual conversation that someone has lost a child, don't change the subject. You may feel awkward, but if you change the subject, it makes the other feel awful. Ask them about the child. Ask if they have a name or something along those lines. You might be uncomfortable, but trust me that it feels so good to tell people when they ask. You will know it is okay to ask if they have included the little angel in their count of children. I don't know why it is taboo. I think we need to change that.

2. Don't patronize. It's really easy to know when people genuinely care about something.

3. Cry with them. It's okay. Don't feel bad. If that person is like me, they are probably grateful to get a little tear out every now and then.

4. Just listen. If that person does want to talk about it, they will probably verbally throw up for about 5 minutes, and it makes it better if you just listen. The best response is that there isn't one. My favorite is "That just sucks." Cause you know what. It does. It makes it worse when people say sorry for me. Then I feel like I need to comfort them and assure them that everything is okay. Best to just say that the situation is a tough one. At least for me that helps.

I have found that these things are the best things to remember. It is never an easy conversation for anyone, but you would be surprised how often it happens to women. I am not sure if it is something that I just notice now since it happened to me, or if it is becoming more common in women my age? I will never know that answer.

I thought I would post some pictures from Jagger's birthday. You may find it weird that we had a mini celebration, but it helps make me feel better. I had 24 hours of labor, I will do what I want. :) Plus, I love him and can't wait to hold him in my arms again someday.

Sea Turtles remind me of Jagger. So we have a small collection of different kinds. I made the blanket. It will be great once winter comes along. :)

"The Ghost Who Walks" HD live full band Video

2010-12-09T20:09:00.001-07:00

I love this! It is a little bit of a morbid sort of song but I love the sound! She is great. I googled her and I had no idea she was a super model! She has such great talent and I hope she keeps on pursuing a music career! P.S. She is married to Jack White of the White Stripes.....a group I am like a decade late in discovering but who cares right?

The End is near!

2010-12-09T20:02:00.003-07:00

Finally I can say that I absolutely have never been happier to see a semester end in my life! I just want to say how proud of myself I am for not withdrawing, and truly trying my best to finish out the semester. I knew I was going to really regret it if I did.

So.... things I have learned from this..... Basically, never take 17 credits ever again. It is NEVER worth it! At least for me. I am also going to change my major. I am currently studying humanities and religious studies, but I see now that it is not for me. No offense out there to those who love philosophy but I just don't see the point. My new major is going to be elementary education. Say what you want, but I think it will be the best fit for me.

I am not done yet with this hell of a semester, but I can finally see the light! yay! Just a few more million papers to go and I will be done and I can just put it behind me!

Update

2010-08-21T21:07:00.002-06:00

So I donated 19 blankets. I actually did this about a month ago, but I just haven't been able to blog about it. It was so great to be able to try and do something for others! Thanks to all who helped'!

A Time To Give Back....

2010-06-23T12:08:00.002-06:00

Service.

Nothing helps a healing process better than serving others.

I have decided to donate 50 receiving blankets to Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake. I want to donate these by July 12. These need to by 36" x 36" or larger.

Typically these are made out of flannel that can be found at any fabric store and walmart. Preferrably the flannel that has print.

I really need some help on this. If I had all the money in the world, I would buy it all myself. But I know that this project could be done better if I got help from others.

You could help by donating the flannel and I will make them. Or you could also make them and bring them to me and I can get them to the hospital.

I really want to do this. I will make all efforts to do this, and I really do have a goal of 50 blankets and I totally think it is possible and doable.

Please help.

Thanks!

Anali

Welcome to a New World...

2010-06-08T09:46:00.003-06:00

Well, Things are going alright. I am starting to feel better, and most days I handle things pretty well.

I went to the doctor's last week to have a follow up appointment. So far things are well. They still don't know what happened, and he said that sometimes there is not an answer for Why. So, I am getting myself used to the knowledge that I will probably never know why. I just need to have the faith that I will be able to see him again.

I thought I understood anxiety before this happened, but a whole new world has opened up to me. It sneaks up on you in the most inopportune times! For instance. Church. Now, I know that right now that is definitely the place I need to be right now. But man, in Utah, where there is about 6 children for every pew, it makes a great breeding ground for an anxiety attack. So, although I had to get up and go out into the foyer, I still was able to stay for the whole time. I had to get up a few times and take some tylenol, but I did get through it. But I was definitely ready to leave by the end! But I'm glad I went.

For those of you who might be wondering what it feels like to have anxiety, I'll let you know from my point of view what it is like for me.
Put yourself into a public place. Like the grocery store. You know what you are there for is down the isle where it seems that everyone else in the world is clamoring for the same thing. You know you need it. But you just stand there. Heart beating harder and harder, and your head starts to pound. Where did that headache come from, you wonder. Then, the longer you stand there the more you notice the quick shallow breathing that you have. Well that certainly is not helping you. But still you debate that this is no big deal and you can see exactly what you need and you are just going to walk over there and ignore everyone and just grab it and then you can be on your merry way..... right. Go ahead, your mind says. Grab it. But your feet refuse to move. If only you could catch your breath. Maybe you do end up getting it and accomplishing the task at hand, or maybe, you just turn the other way and say you will try again later. Either way that is about what it feels like to have a little anxiety.

I always wondered about people with anxiety. I never understood. I always kind of thought that they should just "get over it". I so don't feel that way now. It isn't something that you "just get over". It's more complicated than that. It makes doing simple things more of an issue. Like driving alone on the freeway, going to church, being in a large group of people, having someone ask you rapid fire questions. These USED to be simple and easy tasks for me. Now, I would rather stay home and lose myself in watching America's Next Top Model or something mindless like that (I do love me some ANTM).

But, I am not complaining. I am merely saying that now I understand. I now know what it feels like to have an anxiety attack. It definitely is a whole new world for me. But I know I will be okay. Going through difficult trials will cause a little anxiety. I just wake up every morning and try again. If I don't have a good day the day before, I will go to bed and try again the next day. If it's really going bad, I just stop everything I am doing and go back to my room, say a prayer, and I start all over again. (I have had to do that a few times these past couple of weeks. But it usually works.)

So, to sum it all up. Although we all have to face new changes in dynamics in our lives, it doesn't always have to be a bad thing, and we can choose how we let it affect us. Yes, I didn't have anxiety before, and I have it now, but it isn't going to stop me from trying to live a good and happy life.

I keep the telephone of my mind open to peace, harmony, health, love and abundance. Then, whenever doubt, anxiety or fear try to call me, they keep getting a busy signal - and soon they'll forget my number. ~Edith Armstrong

We can easily manage if we will only take, each day, the burden appointed to it. But the load will be too heavy for us if we carry yesterday's burden over again today, and then add the burden of the morrow before we are required to bear it. ~John Newton

New Beginnings Starting with an End

2010-06-02T09:53:00.003-06:00

So much has happened since our anniversary. We were delighted 2 days before Christmas to discover that we were expecting our first child. In January we had our first Ultrasound and we saw this great little thing moving around and having a strong heartbeat. We found out the Gender in April. We were going to have a boy! It was shocking and exciting all at the same time.

Then it all changed. Around May 19 I noticed I hadn't felt the baby move. I was a little worried, but I figured it was only because I had been really busy and I just hadn't noticed. I also wasn't feeling well and I thought that might have been a part of it. Finally on the 21 I decided I had to go to urgent care to see if they could find a heartbeat. I needed some peace of mind.

The night before I prayed. I said to Heavenly Father that if it was his will that this baby had died, then I would accept that, but I would need his help to get through the pain and devastation that it would cause. I am so glad I did that. It reminds me every day that although this has happened to me, I am able to know that Heavenly Father does indeed know who I am and he has a plan for all of us even though we don't fully understand.

I had to go to Timpanogas Hospital because it was right there in Orem where we lived. I had planned on delivering at St. Marks, and I was not expecting to hear the news I was given. After a large attempt at finding the heartbeat, they did an ultrasound and I knew as soon as I saw the picture come up that something was wrong. He just did not look right. Where before he was such a mover, he was so still. The thing I remember the most was his hand. It was the one thing that I could see the best. There was no heartbeat no matter how hard I squinted. The doctor told me he was so sorry but I had lost the baby. But he could not tell me why. Total shock and disbelief for me. And total devastation. 6 months to the day I found out that my baby had died. What I would give for another 3 months. I cried and cried and then underneath it all, I felt this amazing amount of peace. I knew that although this was not what I wanted to hear or go through or have be a part of my life, I knew that I would get through this and that I would be okay.

What a blessing, my doctor was on call that weekend. So, he had me come up to St. Mark's where I was admitted to Labor and Delivery. He came in and also did another ultrasound. There wasn't much fluid surrounding the baby. He couldn't tell me exactly why. Now, my doctor is also my uncle. He happens to be my hero at this point. Why would I say that? Because he saved my mother's life when she delivered my oldest brother. That is the reason I wanted him to deliver my baby in case something went wrong. Well, I am so grateful that I had him there to help me through this experience. I was totally surrounded by family. My husband was amazing support. My brothers and sister in law came to support. Many of you know that my parents live in the Dominican Republic. My dad works there. He was on travels out in the islands for work and my mom was home alone. That was a horrible phone call to make. But my dad got my mom on the first flight out and she got to me just 2 hours after I delivered.

My doctor told me that he was going to have me induced and I was going to deliver. He said it would take about a day. I was terrified and sad and chose to stay in shock. It was easier for me to deal with the fact that I needed to go through labor and deliver a baby. I didn't want to think of the end result. I didn't know if I wanted to hold him. If he would look normal. He was beautiful.

After 24 hours of labor and 15 minutes of pushing, our little Jellybean was born a stillbirth at 15 oz. and he was 10 in. long. He had all ten fingers and all 10 toes. And the thing that I cherish the most was his sweet beautiful nose. Just like his dad. Exactly what I wanted. I held him and cried and cried and I don't think I could have cried harder. My family was there. The nurses took him for a while to get footprints and handprints and other things. When my mom arrived I asked for them to bring him back and she was able to hold him and spend time with him. What a great moment to have been blessed with. After my mom felt she had had her time with him we had the nurses come and they took him for the final time. I asked the nurse if I could have his blanket. I was under the assumption I would leave with nothing and that was a thought that I did not want to face. She told me yes and then left.

After a bit she came back with two beautiful boxes. One has his footprints in clay. The other is larger. It is a memory box that has his blanket, a bear, and his hat. I love those things. They are so precious to have. It was so great to be able to leave with something. All I wanted was his blanket and I got so much more.

I wish this experience on no one, but I cannot say that I am not grateful or blessed. This is something that you always wonder if you could handle. I know now that I am strong enough to lose a child and that I can rely on the Lord to get me through it. I honestly can say that in a way I can understand what Heavenly Father must have felt like losing his son. I can also say that I sort of know what Jesus Christ felt like when he was in the Garden. He went through so much pain for all of us, even though he knew the outcome. I remember feeling angry that I had to endure pain and the outcome was not the pretty picture I had painted in my head. But really, knowing all that pain, I would go back and do it again. Because it was such a bittersweet moment. I had to welcome a boy but say goodbye all at the same time. Nothing can make that go away, but I know that with time I will be able to move forward.

I am grateful for this trial. Before I was feeling I had lost a sense of who I was. Now I know who I am and I know where I am going in life. I feel whole again, even though I have lost a bit of my heart.

We decided we wouldn't name him. We put Baby Boy Haddock on his fetal death certificate. We decided we would save the name for a future boy; if we don't use it, then we can go back and write it in. But I am not worried. I know that one day I will have an opportunity to see him again. I am grateful for an understanding of the great plan of happiness that our Father has laid out for us. I am grateful for the atonement also. I know that as I strive with a desire in my heart to be a good person and to live the life the Lord wants me to live, I will be happier beyond what this life can provide for me. I know that through the atonement I have the opportunity to purify my life and be able to show the Lord that I am willing to accept his will and put my life and my child's life in his hands.

Thank you all so much for all of your prayers and support. It means so much to Jordan and I. We love you all so much.

Footprints
How very softly
you tiptoed
into my world.
Almost silently,
only a moment
you stayed.
But what an imprint
your footsteps
have left upon my
heart.
~Dorothy Ferguson

ANNIVERSARY

2009-10-11T12:33:00.002-06:00

Well, here we are one year later, and I have realized what an awful job I have done at keeping up a blog. My journal is even worse.

Yesterday was our anniversary and we had so much fun. First, Jordan woke me up and he made me breakfast. Then we went and saw the movie "Whip It". After that, Jordan took me to my favorite restaurant, The Cheesecake Factory. I love their food! To finish off the night, we went and saw some of our mission friends at a corn maze and then went to Denny's to have some tea and pie! It was so much fun!

I am so happy to married to Jordan. He is such a wonderful man. He is very caring and tries very hard to find ways to provide for our little family. He is always making plans for our future and always trying to make life a little better for me every day! He is so sweet when I am not feeling well and he will go late at night to the store to get me something to eat.

I am so glad I made the decision to marry Jordan, and I am looking forward to the many years ahead of us!

Happy One Year Anniversary Jordan! I love you!

Fatty

2009-05-28T20:06:00.003-06:00

So, I've put on a few pounds in the last 6 months. Let's just say, for me, I am either gaining weight or losing it. I just can't seem to hang around a normal range! Ha! Anywho.... It only took one bad picture of me to see that just changing the chips to the salads was NOT going to be enough. I absolutely hate going to the gym by myself. So, I took a little initiative and got online and found a 4 week plan. I figure I will start with the four week plan and then move on up in life. The thing that bugs me is, why would I pay 30 dollars to find out how I can lose weight in a short amount of time. I mean, anyone could do that. It is so annoying. They tell you everything but the thing that they did to lose the weight.
Well, I got tired of trying to get it all in one place, so first, I said a prayer to chill myself out. Then I found a site that would map out a 4 week at home plan. I was a little confused with it when it came to meal plans, and I got very annoyed about it, so I decided that I would just go with the workout and look up some tips on how I could eat healthier. I'm glad I did that because a couple of weeks ago I started to drastically change my diet. (Having a tight budget will do that sometimes.) After I read about the tips, I realized that I was already doing most of it, and I could actually add more to my diet.
Has it helped me feel less fat... no, but the workout officially starts on Monday, and so, I am hoping by the end of I will be able to get back down to how I normally feel. I know I am not fat, but I have gained enough weight that I am uncomfortable, and ornery. So, I think that for the sake of my emotional well being, along with the physical, it is time to get my healthy on.

10 Things I have learned watching 5 seasons of Law and Order: Criminal Intent in 2 weeks.

2009-05-17T20:52:00.002-06:00

10. If a famous person is around, you can count on them being the killer.
9. All stupid people are SOBs.
8. A whole crime case can be summed up in the end with a one liner. (i.e., "You were right, there is never enough truth.... Or enough justice.", and "Try explaining to them how a mother could have done this to their daughter...Well they are parents, they understand, that's what makes it worse.", etc.)
7. People take you more seriously if you shake your head in disbelief.
6. "Schizophrenics make great witnesses"
5. People who take pictures of other people usually end up dead within the hour.
4. Children of criminals are "ungrateful little [insert word here]" according to the parents.
3. It takes one to know one...
2. How not to dispose of a body....
1. I know no more about the law than I did two weeks ago.

So this is how the engagements went down...

2009-04-28T16:32:00.006-06:00

So, I now have time to care about the blog. I decided I was going to upload pics that have been piling up. So, even though I have posted a lot of this a few months late, I decided it didn't matter, cause it's my blog, and I will do it how I want! Ha!

So, when Jordan officially proposed, I knew it was coming. Jordan had been staying at our house because he was working on a job with his cousing in SLC. We had gone ring shopping a couple of weeks before. In fact, my ring sat on our kitchen counter up until Jordan proposed. Ha!

Here is where he took me for dinner. We were both so excited we could hardly eat. He surprised me by having the waitress bring me a huge boquet of roses in the middle of the dinner!

They were gorgeous!

Then after dinner, we went up to Fernwood. It's a picnic area up on the mountain in East Layton. It is one of my favorite spots. I love the sunsets from up there.

We sat on the bench for a couple of minutes after we got up there. Then after the silence was becoming awkward and unbearable, he hopped up, got on one need and said, "Anali, will you marry me?" I grabbed the ring as fast as I could and hurriedly said yes and put the ring on my finger.

After we sat on the bench, and about two minutes later Jordan said, "Well... wanna go play Lord of the Rings?"

Ha! Classic! That was such a fun night! ;)

Moving to Maryland!

2009-04-23T16:02:00.002-06:00

So, much has happened since my last post. I have been running in major circles all over!
About two weeks ago, Jordan got a new job installing security systems in Maryland. So, I have had two weeks to pack up our house, move it to storage, and quit my job.
None of it was easy!
But, now that is all said and done, and we started our first leg of the journey at 8:30 last night.
We drove from Provo, Utah to Longmont, Colorado. We arrived at 4:30 am. Wow. I am exhausted! I have been trying to stay awake today and I can't. Exhaustion doesn't bode well with me.
So in about an hour we will start off again on our drive. Tonight we are driving to Lincoln, Nebraska. It is about a 5 hour drive, and I am looking forward to it. I have never been past colorado before, so this is a new adventure for me!

Character

2009-02-28T18:09:00.003-07:00

I read an article on cnn.com today about how BBC has hired a children's television host who is disabled. She is missing part of one of her arms. A father has complained that the missing arm has "forced him to talk to his daughter about disabilities".......
WHAT?!
I don't even know what to say to that. Honestly....why does it matter. He should be looking at this as an opportunity to teach his daughter about accepting people who seem different. I do understand that it is hard for some children to see things that aren't "normal". But what IS normal anyway? There is nothing wrong with looking different.
I am so glad that BBC hired this woman and that they are standing behind her regardless of what any intolerant idiot says. If they have a problem with it, then don't watch it. But shame on those people who make gripes about things like that.
I couldn't believe what I read. She is a really cute girl. I don't understand what the big deal is. You know what this reminds me of. The movie "Penelope". If you haven't seen it you should watch it. In the movie she is obviously different than everyone else, and someone is trying to make a monster out of her when it isn't really the truth. She is just different. I could go on and on about what things it all reminds me of, but that isn't the point.
The point is that we all could just take a step back and realize that there is more to life than physical things. It's about character.
"People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character"
- Ralph Waldo Emerson.

And the gold goes to......

2009-02-25T16:51:00.007-07:00

If there was someone to be a gold medal winner, it would be me! Today at work was a marathon! I was running around campus all day.... really, literally, I was.

This is campus. See the pink building? I work in the building across the street. So today, I went from there, to the building called HBLL. Then, after 1 hour or more, I trekked on over to the building that says MCKB. There I covered 3 offices on two floors. I then found my car on the south side of the building that said JKHB. There I drove around the north of campus and back to where I started.

NOTE: It takes me 15 minutes or more to walk from my building to the MCKB.

Why, you ask, was I chasing across campus? I was there to find one little book, Hen's Pens. It was imperative I found a copy of this book for a lesson that is going to be taught on Friday. This is the book:

Cut huh? I wonder what it is about?

so, finally my day ended a tad overtime, and the whole while I was on a call with my boss updating our task lists, shooting out e-mails to people, and drawing graphics. All at the same time. For a while, I thought I lost my womanly touch at multi-tasking. But today... I realized, that if it were an olympic sport, I would win the gold!

Romania

2009-02-24T18:32:00.033-07:00

Romania. Oh how I miss it.

Who would have thought that Jordan and I would meet all the way across the world.

Jordan served a full time LDS mission from June 2006 to June 2008. I served a full time LDS mission from January 2007 to July 2008.

I cannot express how amazing this opportunity was for me. I will be the first to admit that it wasn't easy for me to go. I had made the decision in January '06, but for the next 8 months I was on again off again as prospects of boys and jobs came in and out of my life. Then finally, nearing the end of August, I finally decided that I would humble myself and just make the preparations and go. I have never once regretted that decision. I have never wanted to be a Missionary, and I have actaully never liked the sister missionaries growing up. But, regardless of my opinion, I knew that Heavenly Father wanted me to do something, and I could not deny that.
Going to Romania was not easy. Not one bit. But through time, patience, faith, and prayer, lots of prayer, I learned something more everyday and eventually it became a part of me.
Going to the MTC was awful. I once said on facebook that my memories of the Missionary Training Center are like memories of Junior High; vague and painful. :) But, I learned a lot about myself while I was there. I know it wasn't easy for my companion, nor for my district(the other missionaries that entered at the same time that were going to Romania also).
When I entered, I had a cold, which quickly escalated to full blown bronchitis. Thank goodness my dad decided I needed a pneumonia vaccination before I went. So, I spent the first 2-3 weeks in my very small room learning less and less of romanian, and more and more of unimportant things. It definitely caused a hightened sense of stress for everyone. Then, I was able to attend class. 2 weeks into that, I was playing 4-square and fell and hurt my back. So, once again, I was put on bed rest for 2 more weeks, and missed on even more. I spent the last 2-3 weeks in class laying on a bench I had kifed from the lobby. I remember at first we had it in the back and one of the elders would try and keep me awake. then I moved up to the front and spent the rest of my time trying to decode this totally foriegn language and catch up on what it takes to be a missionary. Here are some pics of the MTC:

This is in my room. Whoever took it is standing in the doorway. This was my first night back to class after my bout with bronchitis.

This was taken right before I had steroid injections in my lower lumbar. After 2 weeks of daily chiropractics and physical therapy, they sent me as a last resort to the pain clinic in Provo, Utah. There I recieved a back adjustment, three injections, and immediately following that, massage therapy. I had 3 more sessions of massage therapy, and we called it good. They thought I had a herniated disc for almost 2 weeks, but I recieved a priesthood blessing, and after having an MRI, they saw that I was only showing a little swelling, and the shots and massage therapy would help me more than anything. Thank goodness for the priesthood!

This was pretty much what it looked like for the last few weeks of the MTC!

This is my district. 17 missionaries. 4 sisters and 13 elders. We are posing here with our teacher Brother Norris. We were one of the largest groups ever. We weren't split up. Things wouldn't have been as awesome if they would have done that!

My companion Emily Bingham and I! Now, everyone knows we didn't exaclty get along so well in the MTC. We pretty much left, grateful for Romania and that we both had made it, and hoped to never really have to serve together again. Now.... that is a sad thing indeed, and I am the first to admit that. Hence why Heavenly Father decided we would figure out how to be friends, so we spent the last 4 1/2 months of our missions as companions once again! I wouldn't want it to have been any different.

My oldest brother sent our whole district IBC rootbeer to "celebrate" our last night. Here we are getting ready to take a great drink of what would be my last "real" rootbeer until over a year later. That was a fun night indeed.

Brother Norris. What a great teacher. I thought he was tough and strict, but I soon learned to appreciate that. He came to the airport at 5 in the morning to surprise us all with a personal letter to each one of us and a cookie. I'm pretty sure teachers aren't supposed to do that, but we were his biggest, and last group. I guess he couldn't pass it up! :) I remember how happy I was when I could read the letter he wrote to us. He wrote them all in romanian. I think it was about 6 months before I understood the whole thing.

So, off we went on a crazy adventure to Romania. I miss it so much. I thought I would put up a picture from each of the areas I served in.

This is in my first area Brasov (Brashove).
Here we are with the youth in the branch. This is at the top of Sapte Scari (The Seven Staircases). My companion is Sora Barfuss. She is behind the kid in the yellow shirt.

This is my second companion Sora Gallo. I am still here in Brasov. We had soooo much fun together!

Me in fourth transfer with Gallo.... and broken foot. A great fracture to the 5th metatarsal! I had strained some ligaments in my other foot a few days prior to the break. So, I wasn't allowed to go anywhere until I recieved the crutches, which wasn't until 2 days later... what did I do with my new mobility? I jumped over a ditch and broke the good foot!

This is in Iasi (Yawsh) my second area. This is my companion Sora Beck. This was my 5th transfer (a transfer is a period of six weeks) and it was her last. I had just come from a whole transfer doing nothing.

This is transfer 6 in Bucaresti (Bucharest). My companion is on my left, Sora Anderson, and to the right is Carmen and her 3 year old son. It was her oldest son's birthday.

Bucaresti is also where my husband and I served our one and only transfer together! This is a normal scene. Muddy after a preparation day of playing ultimate frisbee with the other missionaries in the city, and eating mcdonalds.

This is transfer 7 in Chisinau, Moldova (Kee-she-no). My companion is in the middle, Sora Griffeth, and on the left is Maria Rusu. She was a new member. We took her out for dinner as a christmas present. She is such a great woman. This was taken on Christmas Eve after we went and watched the Christmas program at the orphanage. This is our favorite restaurant "Robyn Pub". It had the best food I have ever eaten!

This is transfer 8 (still in Chisinau) with companion Sora Runyan on the right, and Vera, a member, and her son, Clim. This was taken at Vera's house on my last visit to her. They speak Russian, but Vera can speak English, so we always visited in English.
In Moldova you get a lot of Russian speakers. So, I think I spoke a lot of English those 3 months I was there. They do speak Romanian, but it is a different dialect.

Here I am in Constanta (Cone-stan-tsa) with Sora Lovell. We are at the Black Sea. This was not the prettiest of days, and it was VERY cold, but it was a very pretty sight. That was the first day I saw the Black Sea. This is transfer 9.

Here I am with Sora Bingham for transfer 10. We got caught in a rainstorm. I love rain! Guess where we are???? BRASOV! That's right. I spent my first 4 transfers there, then my last 3 transfers! That is one of the biggest blessings of my life! I started my mission there and I couldn't really communicate with anyone. Then, I got to go back and I was able to understand them and help them better than I was able to do before.

This is one of my favorites. This is in transfer 11. We went to Rasnov (rush-nove), an ancient fortress. This is my fave because I have no idea where that little boy came from. He didn't make a sound, and I didn't know he was there until I looked at the pic on my camera and then looked up to see him. He is a little gypsy boy, as soon as we saw him, he held out his hand (which is a sign for begging) and waited for us to give him money. We couldn't, and that was really hard for me.

This is at the first ever girls camp in Brasov. Also in my 11th transfer. In fact, as far as I am aware, this is the first ever girls camp in Romania. So, it was awesome. We had our activities and made tin foil dinners in the church oven, and then we took all the couches outside and slept out in the church courtyard. The branch president and his wife and daughter slept in a tent, and we a bunch of other girls in the other 4 man tent, and the rest of us slept on the couches and on the ground. It was a great memory.

Girls camp inspired us to have a youth conference specifically targeted to the young men/young women in the branch. So, here we are in my 12th and final transfer at the top of Sapte Scari (Shop-tay Scuhr). Although our plans didnt exactly work out the way we did plan, it turned out to be a great experiecnce. We had lunch when we got to the top and we had a great devotional. The boy on the bottom left and the man in the top left are father and son. The mom/wife is a Romanian from Brasov. They were back visiting that summer. So we invited them along. Also standing in the back in white is Elder Stromberg, and to the right is Ana Maria Miron, and her sister Alexandra. It was a great hike, and definitely worth the time spent.

Here I am on my last night in the country with the new Mission President and his wife. This is President Lundberg and Sora Lundberg. Their son is 9 and adopted from Romania. They came three weeks before I left. I wish I would have had more time with them.

These are my shoes at the end. I actually only wore these for the last 3 months of my mission, but I wore them daily, and walked about 5 miles a day my last 2 transfers. They were definitely a sight to behold.

So, here I am, 7 1/2 months later, and it all seems like it never happened. I just have these random memories. I remember one time thinking how crazy it was to imagine home. I couldn't. It was like I had never been in my previous life. I was forever changed by my experience. I still have a hard time remembering how I was before my mission. But I don't really miss it. I am happy the way I am now. Now, I have a hard time remembering what it was like when I was a missionary. I am so glad I have thousands of pictures and journal entries to remember things by. But the greatest thing I have, is my husband. No, I never intended to marry an Elder. In fact, I always thought it was weird. But, now I think it is a great thing, and I am so happy that I was able to make some sacrifices for Heavenly Father. He has blessed me more than I ever thought He would!

State Wrestling Championships: Colorado

2009-02-23T20:47:00.005-07:00

Wow. All I can say is I have one tough brother in-law. He is such a good kid.
On Friday we drove to Colorado. Only stopping for gas, and praying Ryker would win his semi final match. I of course was praying he would win, because after driving all night, I didn't want to have to sit at the Pepsi Center in Denver all day.
But, he came through and we all cheered him on as he wrestled for the championship.
I had no idea what the rules for wrestling were, and I have actually never cared. But, as the last of the Haddock boys wrestled for the title, I was doing everything I could to learn what was going on.
I cannot tell you how awesome it was to see that he won. I was in shock. It had many effects after.
My father in-law was a wrestler too. But a week before the state championships, he got mono, and therefore ended his whole wrestling career. Quinn went on to have 3 sons. All who have wrestled. Jordan starting at 11 yrs, Steven at 9, and Ryker, the state champ, starting at 7 yrs. I guess all that hard work paid off for the youngest of the boys. I guess no foe is intimidating when you have grown up wrestling your dad and your two older brothers.
I never thought I would be emotional, but of course, I couldn't help but tear up as I watched the final seconds tick off and end the match.
It was like a dream come true for the whole family. I think the Haddock men vicariously lived through Ryker for those 6 long minutes. And then, with the triumph of the win, Ryker reverently realized that all his hard work finally paid of in that last match of his high school wrestling career.
I wanted him to win for so many reasons. For my father in-law who was so close and then lost his chance. For my brother in-law Steven who could have placed at third but was pinned in the last seconds, and for my husband, who has never seen Ryker wrestle in high school, and who didn't get that chance at the state tournament. But also, it was amazing at how much love you could feel after he won. The only family that went down to take their picture with the champ was my in-laws. But the best part was it just wasn't the blood family. It was also the ward family. The bishop came and a counsilor, and some other members of the ward. The Moore family came, and Maryam who is 8 months pregnant, she sat and cheered and braved the squeezing of my hand as we watched with an untrained eye the match before us.
I don't think any person with any connection with Ryker at that tournament had a dry eye. It was great. His high school hasn't had a state champ in over 10 years. And he is now the 4th in the schools history. That is cool.
It was a whirlwind weekend, and it was definitely worth it. I felt a lot of love this weekend, and I know it is going to be a memory forever etched in the minds of all who care about Ryker. He is a good kid, and he worked hard for this moment. And I am glad that he won.

NEW NEPHEW: Axel

2009-02-19T22:31:00.004-07:00

We love our new nephew. He is such a cute lil guy! I have only seen him once, and he was only a day old, but he is such a sweetie! His name is Axel Naylor Rappleye. No, he is not named after Axl Rose. He was 7 lbs and 21 in.

We weren't expecting him until March 1, but the little sneak came on Feb 15. Good thing it wasn't on Valentines day, cause then he would have to share his big day with the rest of the world. (Sorry for anyone's b-day that is the 14th.)

We are excited to have this new addition to the fam. He is the first grandchild on both of his parents' sides. So.... he is gonna get A LOT of lovin!

No more jimmy!

2009-02-10T14:33:00.002-07:00

On my previous post I told how we got the new kitten. The "joy" of that only lasted about 5 days. We sold him for 80 bucks. That just bought us groceries for the next two weeks +! Ha! I didn't think I would miss him, but I do kind of miss the little guy!

The nice thing about having him was how it made me realize I just am not ready for kids yet. I have only been married for 4 months. So I figure I still have a little time. Also, I have found a new love for my husband.

About the third day after we got the kitten we were talking and realized that we both felt that somehow our privacy had been intruded. I know it was just a cat, but you can put that up on ksl.com and give it away, but you can't do that with a child! So, it helped us to realize that just as much as we want to be parents and love our children, we aren't exactly ready for that.

Now I am glad to say that I am very happy, and although it was sad that we had to get rid of him, it was a good learning moment.

I also learned I am allergic to cats..... It runs in the family.

NEW CAT!

2009-02-04T17:11:00.003-07:00

I have never had a furry animal in my life. Jordan has always grown up with dogs..... so we got a cat.... :/ I probably should have thought harder about it. He is around 3 months old and a stinker! We should probably get him a friend. Right now he is in to everything and all over our little apartment. Man. He is crazy! He still hasn't caught on that we are sleeping when the lights are off and we don't want to play! Ha! Hopefully he will grow out of it and get lazy!

2009-01-16T14:06:00.002-07:00

So, if anyone is wondering what my meetings are like for my work.... This picture is a great interpretation. A bunch of women... chatting it up. Only I wish that we had little cups of tea to sip on. Instead, I am starving my brains out and just wondering when it will all be over! Ha! Oh man. I love my job. It really is great! But meetings right when you should be eating are a bad idea!

Good Times

2008-11-05T20:25:00.002-07:00

Well, after much drama, things are starting to look up a bit. It is incredible what great people are around us all the time. We have been having a bit of a hard time, and sooo many people have helped us so much. I just can't wait to get myself into a position to reach out and help others. I do my best now as I can, but now I am making plans to really make a difference.

It was my birthday the other day. You would think that turning 23 would be a big deal, but it isn't. I dont' feel any different, and I think I still look like I am in high school! :) Ha!

Oh well, life goes on. I had a jillion funny little stories to put up here, but it looks like I might have a little stage fright because I forgot what I was going to put up. Until next time......

Cute Dancing Girls

2008-10-26T17:00:00.003-06:00

Aren't these girls cute? They are my cousins' little girls. Jordan is playing the piano.

And Yet One More Thing...

2008-10-25T09:01:00.005-06:00

Not only are we poor, but we are too poor to go to the dollar store! The dollar store can be such a joke sometimes. Although I am super partial to the "Dollar Tree". I hear now that they are selling frozen foods. That is amazing. But, in all honesty is this all just a ruse to spend more money? It's just like "The Nicklecade". Don't fall for the trap! Before you know it, in the course of an hour, you have spent thirty dollars pushing nickles across a ledge. Good thing I don't believe in the casinos. I would have much bigger problems on my hands!

A Few Wedding Pics

2008-10-22T19:38:00.015-06:00

Just a few wedding pics for anyone who wanted to see

Jordan and his sisters

Jordan and his brothers
Jeez! It was cold
Yay for our families. Jordans family is on the top and mine is here below!

The poorness of my life......

2008-10-22T19:30:00.001-06:00

Well, after having to put a new part into the car, we are officially poor. The only "money" we have, is the very few gift cards we have left. Not only that, they are in Layton at my parents house! Do we have the gas to get up there....NOPE.
So, now I am learning how to make food storage taste good. It's amazing what you can do with tomato sauce and a packet of taco seasoning! :)
I went to get the tires rotated the other day and they found a tear in the boot. I asked if it was something that had to be done then. The mechanic told me no because he didn't have the time. I told him good, because I didn't have the money!

MARRIAGE!

2008-10-18T08:54:00.003-06:00

Well, as of October 10th, 2008, we are officially married. We got married in the Bountiful Temple. After that, we had an awesome reception that was full of food and dancing, and all around partying.

Since last Friday many things have happened, and yet we are still truckin along. On the way to the cabin for our honeymoon, it started snowing. This was a fairly large cabin, and the heat didn't heat it up all the way. Needless to say, after 2 days we decided to come home. We were a little bored....Who watches football and plays with legos on their honeymoon?!

Once home we have done nothing but put furniture together and go back and forth to Wal-mart buying tables and garbage cans.

2 days ago, after being dropped off to work, Jordan tells me that the alternator went out in the only car we have. I have no idea how we did it, but we paid for it, and now we are broke! He paid for the last 3 dollars with pennies nickles and dimes!

But, even though we are having craziness around here, I am still pretty happy. Life always has a way of sneaking up on you, but I think it is totally kosher to turn around and smack it in the face!

For our first meal at home, we ate macaroni and cheese. Super romantic, I know. But, we were able to clear enough space to set up the table and not have to eat on the bed!

Our house is finally starting to come together. It is super tiny, and reminds me a lot of the apartments in Romania. Small, not a lot of storage space. But I love it, and I know one day I will look back and remember how great it was to live in our little basement apt killing spiders everyday! :)

jnahaddock

2008-09-05T23:34:00.000-06:00

the temple!

2008-09-05T23:32:00.000-06:00

yay for blogs... I love you Anali!